The confession of a bagong ina mga when she returned to her husband’s house to give birth and stay in confinement has received special attention from the Philippine online community. Instead of being taken care of, she sadly realized that her husband’s family was still just an “outsider”, unable to treat her child as kindly and lovingly as her biological mother’s family.

In the Philippines, many women when giving birth often return to their nanay bahay ng nanay to stay in confinement for a few months. They wait until the mother is healthy and the baby is strong before returning to their husband’s house. Because when being taken care of by her biological mother, the daughter will feel more comfortable and secure, avoiding unnecessary conflicts with her mother-in-law.

However, recently, a young bride named Mariel shared a bitter story when she decided to return to her husband’s house in Pampanga to give birth to her first son, hoping that her grandparents would be happy to have a grandson.

“My husband, si Ramil, said that this was apo ng panganay for me to go back to my hometown to give birth so that his parents could ‘save face’ in front of their relatives. So I decided to go back to my husband’s house a week before my due date. We planned to stay there for a month, then when the baby was a month old, we would move back to Manila to live with my mother,” Mariel said.

However, the days at her husband’s house left her with a lot of resentment.

Although her husband’s parents had a pension and were quite well off, Ramil still gave her extra money to help her pay for the palengke. Mariel thought that way she would be able to eat enough nutritious food to produce milk for her baby. But it turned out that her mother-in-law was too calculating, even stingy.

She often bought cheap, stale meat and fish. Sometimes when the meat smelled, she would still say: “Wala namang amoy, pag niluto mawawala din.” . The vegetables were all from the backyard garden, all day long there was only kangkong and bitter melon, which made Mariel fed up.

After giving birth, the situation did not improve. The pata porridge she cooked was hasty, wasting gas so she did not cook it thoroughly, the meat was still tough, and she could not eat it. Meanwhile, she kept complaining that her son had a hard time, working alone to support the whole family.

What made Mariel even more resentful was that the 5,000 pesos that Ramil gave her mother-in-law to take care of food, she used for the whole family. Sometimes she even bought fish and ham to send to her sister-in-law who lived nearby. When Mariel was about to return to Manila, she went into the room and frankly said:

“The money my son gave me is all gone. I still have to use my own money to take care of you and your child. You have to pay that money back. Besides, this month you are here, the kuryente and tubig have increased, you give me an extra 1,000 pesos to make up for it.”

Hearing that, Mariel was shocked and hurt. Because she did not have enough money, she had to text her friends nearby to lend her some to give back to her mother-in-law.

That afternoon, she decided to pack up, carry her child and return to her mother’s house in Manila.

When she got home, her mother took good care of her: beef, seafood, and fruits to nourish her. Her mother also said: “Kumain ka ng mabuti para may gatas ka sa anak mo. Hindi kita papabayaan.”

Mariel choked up: “I gave her money but my mother refused to accept it. She said I was only here for a few months, could she not take care of her daughter and grandchild?”

Mariel’s story quickly spread on Philippine social networks, receiving thousands of comments. Many people sympathized, saying that not everyone is lucky enough to have a thoughtful mother-in-law who loves her daughter-in-law like her own daughter.

Because if unfortunately she encounters a mother-in-law who is calculating and only looking for ways to get money, the daughter-in-law will be in a very difficult position: both resentful and not knowing whether to tell her husband or not for fear of further family conflict.

Part 2: The online community speaks out, the mother-in-law is heavily criticized by relatives

After Mariel’s story was posted on a large forum for Filipino mothers, tens of thousands of comments quickly appeared. Most of them expressed sympathy for her and strongly condemned the mother-in-law’s stingy and selfish actions.

One comment received thousands of likes:

“Nakakahiya! The daughter-in-law just gave birth, she should have been taken care of properly. 5,000 pesos is not a small amount, yet she still dares to calculate, making her daughter-in-law pay extra for electricity and water. Kung ako si Mariel, hindi na ako babalik diyan kahit kailan!”

Another shared his own story:

“Kahit mahirap kami, noong nanganak ang anak kong babae, ginawa ko ang lahat para makain siya ng masustansya. Hindi ako tumanggap ng kahit isang sentimo. The story was spread all over Facebook, TikTok, and even some online newspapers reposted it with the title:
“Bagong Ina Iniwan ang Bahay ng Biyenan Matapos Singilin ng Bayad Kuryente at Tubig — Netizens: ‘Nakakahiya!’”

Family turmoil

The news quickly reached relatives in Pampanga. Relatives who thought Ramil’s mother was a gentle person who loved her daughter-in-law were now shocked when they read the article.

During a handaan later, a cousin frankly said in front of everyone:

“Kung totoong ginawa mo ‘yan kay Mariel, Ate, nakakahiya ka. Apo mo ‘yan, hindi dapat pinapabayaan. At bakit mo pa pinakikialaman ang perang binigay ni Ramil para sa asawa niya?”

The mother-in-law initially denied it, saying that the story was “added with salt and pepper”. But Mariel’s detailed account and the spread of it online made her words lose all credibility. Even her relatives gradually turned their backs.

An aunt was even more harsh:

“Kung nagtitipid ka para sa sarili mong anak, sige lang. Pero para sa bagong panganak na babae at sa apo mong sanggol? Hindi ako makapaniwala. Pinahiya mo ang buong pamilya sa barangay.”

Mariel is supported by the community

Meanwhile, Mariel received a lot of comfort and help. Some mothers in the online group even sent gifts, milk powder, and diapers to her son. Someone sent a private message:

“Mariel, huwag kang mahihiya. Lahat ng nanay deserve ng respeto at kalinga. Hindi ka nag-iisa.”

In Manila, Mariel’s biological mother loved her daughter even more. She told her daughter:
“See? Your husband’s family only knows how to calculate. Here, I will take care of you and your grandchild until you two are stable. Hindi kita pababayaan.”

Mariel shed tears, clearly feeling that only her biological mother was the safest place for her in the weakest moment of her life.

The image of the mother-in-law is reversed

From someone who was once praised by relatives as a “good mother, good daughter-in-law”, the mother-in-law has now become the subject of gossip and criticism. At the market, people were whispering:

“Yan ba ang lola na dapat alagaan apo? Pera pa ang iniisip!”

Unable to bear the pressure, she began to show her annoyance with her son, blaming Ramil for letting his wife “smear her reputation” online. But this time, Ramil remained silent, not daring to defend his mother, because he also saw the reality clearly during his wife’s confinement days.

Mariel did not need to argue any further. She knew that the truth had been revealed, and this time, both the community and relatives were on her side.