My mother-in-law is paralyzed, my sister-in-law in the city told me to quit my job to take care of her and give me 5 million a month, I immediately responded with a sentence that made her pale
I am Lani, married to Marco Dela Cruz for 12 years, have a 9-year-old son. I work in a private company in Ortigas, Pasig. We live in Novaliches, Quezon City.

Earlier this year, Marco called repeatedly: Nanay Letty (my mother-in-law) suddenly had a stroke and was admitted to the hospital in Quezon City. She survived but was bedridden and needed long-term care. Before the shocking news could subside, my sister-in-law – Ate Maris (living in Makati) came home and told me:

— Quit your job and stay home to take care of Nanay. I will send you ₱12,000 every month so you don’t have to work hard.

The offer was like a bucket of cold water. The job I have been doing for years, raising children and taking care of my family—is it worth ₱12,000/month to become an “unpaid caregiver” in the house?

I looked straight at her and answered a sentence that made her pale:

— Ate, you are a daughter-in-law, not a free nurse. If you really love Nanay, you can take turns taking care of her or contribute enough to hire a 24/7 qualified nurse. ₱12,000/month cannot buy her future, nor can it replace the responsibility of the whole family.

Not wanting to “pay it forward by passing the buck”, I proactively sought a solution… I contacted a home care center in Quezon City, hired a TESDA-certified caregiver and an hourly nurse; utilized PhilHealth/HMO to reduce costs. I clearly explained the process of rotating shifts, hygiene, exercise, pressure ulcer prevention… Marco was silent for a moment then nodded.

A month later, Nanay Letty was much better: she ate and slept regularly, her mood was stable. Ate Maris saw the results and fell silent, no longer hinting. That night, Marco said:

— I’m sorry. I was hasty and shouldn’t have forced you.

I smiled:
— Filial piety is not about pushing things around, but about sharing responsibilities. Taking care of parents is the family’s duty—but not the responsibility of one person alone.

I understood more that family is a place of respect and empathy, not a place where anyone is forced to sacrifice everything. “Filial piety” is not about making a trade-off but about shouldering the burden together—just like what we did in Quezon City: each person doing their part, so that Nanay could be taken care of well while I could still keep my job and dignity.