I – Maria – had been married for two years when my mother-in-law moved from Batangas to Quezon City to live with us. My husband and I – I work as an accountant in Cubao, my husband Jared works as a human resources officer in Ortigas – both work in offices, busy from morning to night. When Nanay Rosa offered to stay and take care of the meals, I was both happy and guilty. Feeling sorry for her age, we agreed to send her ₱10,000 each month for her to take care of the family’s meals, as a way to show our filial piety.
At first, I trusted her completely. But after only a few months, my doubts arose in my heart.
Every day after work, the dinner table was always a few simple dishes: a bowl of lugaw (watery porridge), fried eggs, and sometimes just roasted peanuts with a little atchara (pickled vegetables). Many meals were cold, and Jared even had to eat spoiled rice. I gently reminded:
– Nanay, I sent money so Nanay could comfortably take care of meals, Nanay just buy delicious food for the whole family.
Nanay Rosa just smiled:
– “Mahál ang bilihin ngayon, iha. Save every penny you can. Eat simply for good health.”
Hearing that, I felt sad but remained silent. Until one day, my little son Anton whispered:
– Mom, today I saw Lola eating lechon manok, I asked but Lola said: “Lola’s chicken, don’t eat too much.”
My heart ached. Could it be that the money I sent wasn’t used for the whole family?
I decided to secretly install a small camera in the kitchen. And then, when I watched the recording, I was stunned.
In the video, every morning when my husband and I went to work, Nanay Rosa took money to go to palengke near our house, bought a lot of delicious food: beef tapa, lechon manok, bangus (milkfish), imported salmon, expensive fruits. But she kept them all in the mini fridge in her room. At mealtimes, she only served a few simple dishes for the whole family; she ate the delicious food separately. There were even days when she called the neighboring comadres to come over, set up a sumptuous table, and chatted and laughed.
I trembled when I saw Anton approaching to ask for a piece of chicken, she yelled and pushed him away. My heart was filled with resentment. The money I sent with filial piety turned into private parties, while the whole family ate cold rice, my son felt sorry for himself.
That night, Jared went on a business trip to Cebu, I sat alone watching the video over and over again. Tears kept falling. I remembered what my biological mother told me on our wedding day: “Treat your mother-in-law well, treat her like your biological mother.” I did so, but what I received in return was unacceptable selfishness.
I didn’t want to make a fuss. My heart was broken. I packed Nanay Rosa’s belongings and quietly put them in my suitcase. When she returned from the gathering with friends, she saw me standing there, her eyes cold, she was a little startled:
– What are you doing?
I showed her the phone with the video playing. No explanation. She bowed her head, silent.
I gently but firmly said:
– Nanay, I tried my best. But the way Nanay did not only disappointed you, but also hurt Anton. I’m sorry… maybe Nanay should go back to Batangas, Nanay will be more comfortable there.
She was confused, stammering:
– I just want to save money… I don’t think…
But I have decided.
That night, I called a taxi to take Nanay Rosa to Araneta Bus Port (Cubao). No crying, no arguing – just heavy silence.
Returning to the apartment in Quezon City, I sat next to Anton, stroking her soft hair, my heart choked up. I didn’t blame Nanay Rosa, I was just sad that sincere feelings were exchanged for selfishness.
From that day on, Jared and I took care of our own meals. Even though we were busier, the meal tray always had sinigang, adobo, tinola – simple but warm. Anton no longer had to eat cold rice, and I was no longer haunted by cold meals.
The lesson I realized: Filial piety is not just giving money, but also putting it in the right place, to the right person. Trust, once betrayed, will leave a crack that is difficult to heal. And sometimes, making a decisive choice is the way to protect your family’s happiness.
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