When We Got Intimate, I Was Shocked by My Husband’s Strange Preference

My husband is successful, mature, and well-mannered—the kind of man admired by both my mother and his colleagues. But after getting married, I discovered he had some unusual quirks.

At work, he’s known as the “prince in a white shirt.” At home, he’s a gentle husband who knows how to cook, wash the dishes, and especially, respects his wife.

I thought I had chosen the right man. Our wedding was held in autumn, warm and perfect—just like a romantic movie.

But once we truly started living as husband and wife, I began to notice something odd about him. Something that, when we were dating, I found cute and funny—but now, it feels a bit suffocating.

When We Got Intimate, I Was Shocked to Discover My Husband’s Strange Fetish

My husband is successful, mature, and well-mannered—the type of man adored by both my mother and his colleagues. But after we got married, I started to notice several “unusual” things about him.

At work, he’s known as the “white-shirt prince.” At home, he’s a gentle husband who knows how to cook, wash the dishes, and deeply respects his wife.

I thought I had chosen the right man. Our wedding was held in autumn—a cozy, complete celebration like something out of a romantic movie.

But once we began living together as a married couple, I started to notice something a bit strange about him. Something that once felt cute and amusing while we were dating now began to feel suffocating.

My husband is extremely particular—almost obsessive—about my lingerie. He pays attention to the color, material, and design—not in a casual way, but more like he’s conducting serious research.

For example, during our honeymoon in Da Lat, he had prepared an entire small suitcase filled with lingerie he had personally ordered for me in advance—everything from cream-colored French lace and wine-red satin to designs you’d only find in upscale boutiques abroad.

He even asked me to try on each piece, adjust the straps to fit perfectly, and take photos. Back then, I thought he was just refined, had good taste, and enjoyed pampering his wife. But as time went on, I began to feel that things were going too far.

Every weekend, he would prepare a specific set of sleepwear just for our intimate time. Sometimes he wanted me to be his muse; other times, he was into a Japanese seductress look. There were even nights where he wanted full-blown cosplay.

He never forced me, but his expectations were clear in his eyes and words: “Wear that set tonight so it matches the vibe I’m going for. I’ve already set the room up.”

Many times, I just felt tired. I just wanted to wear simple cotton pajamas, cuddle my husband, and get a good night’s sleep. But if I refused or wore the “wrong” style, he would become strangely quiet and distant.

He wouldn’t get angry or scold me, but his attitude made me feel like I had just ruined an important plan. One time, when I wore a set he didn’t like, he lay with his back to me the entire night and only said, “It’s okay, you go ahead and sleep first.”

I started to feel confused. I’m only human. Sometimes I’m exhausted or too busy—I can’t always look perfect or live up to someone else’s expectations.

I confided in my best friend, who had also just gotten married not long ago. She laughed and said, “You’re overthinking it. Maybe your husband just watches too much adult content. Some women have husbands who are lazy and won’t even shower, and here you are complaining about a clean, beauty-loving husband?”

Her words made me go quiet. It’s true—he had never crossed any serious boundaries. But something still felt off.

One day, while rearranging our bookshelves to move my desk, I accidentally discovered a hidden compartment behind his thick stack of books. Inside was a notebook filled with detailed listings of lingerie stores. There were also magazine clippings of lingerie models, neatly pasted onto the pages.

He even wrote down the exact date and time I wore each outfit, along with his reaction… I was shocked by how detailed and meticulous he was with that notebook.

I brought it up with my husband. At first, he was silent, but then he slowly explained:
“There was a time when I completely lost control of myself during college. I lived in a dormitory where I couldn’t take care of myself properly—everything was messy and chaotic.
I always told myself that once I had someone to love, I would make life more colorful, more aesthetic—even when it comes to intimacy between a husband and wife.”

I listened and felt a bit of sympathy for him. But I also made my boundaries clear.
I didn’t want to become an actress in a movie he directed.
We are husband and wife—not characters in a nightly scene where I have to dress up according to a script. I love him for who he is—not for the suit he wears or the essential oil scent in our bedroom. And I hope he loves me the same way.

After that conversation, my husband was quiet for a long while. Then he hugged me tightly and apologized. He said he would learn to love more naturally, and accept me even when I’m not perfect.

Some people might think this is a small issue—“you have such a thoughtful husband, what more could you ask for?” But I believe marriage isn’t just about physical compatibility—it’s also about respecting each other’s true emotions.

Everyone deserves to feel comfortable being themselves in their most private space.
A little effort and attention to detail can add romance to love. But when it becomes a pressure, it needs to be reexamined.

Maybe he wasn’t wrong—but if I kept trying to fit into every scenario he imagined, one day I might lose myself.
And marriage, after all, is not a stage.