I had just brought my girlfriend home after many years of waiting, and my father pointed at Lani: “Lumayas ka sa bahay ko—you naughty woman!”

I work in Manila, my home is in Malolos, Bulacan. I am over 30 this year, and my parents and relatives are constantly urging me to get married. Last Christmas, my mother called and hinted: “If anyone is coming, bring them home so we can prepare, don’t miss the right age.”

Honestly, I was also serious about Lani – my girlfriend of almost a year. She is gentle, knows how to behave, and is good at cooking. I thought, if my parents agreed, we would consider getting married at the beginning of the new year.

That day, I told my mother in advance that I would bring Lani home to visit. She was very happy, told me to buy some pasalubong (bibingka, suman) and then come home for dinner. On the way, I teased Lani: “Don’t worry, my parents aren’t picky, you just need to smile.”

But as soon as we entered the sala (living room), before we could put down the gift bag, I stood up abruptly, my face red, and pointed at Lani: “Lumayas ka sa bahay ko! Get out of my house! You naughty woman!”

Lani was stunned, and I was speechless. Dad’s voice was filled with hatred. He even moved closer, gritting his teeth: “Our house doesn’t welcome people like you.” Nanay ran out of the kitchen to intervene, but Dad yelled loudly. The atmosphere was so tense it was suffocating.

My sister (at home everyone calls her Ate Mica, but to me she’s still “little Mica”) quickly pulled Lani out, whispering: “Kuya, you two go to the sari-sari store at the end of the alley to drink water, wait for me to handle it, don’t worry.” I followed him out, pretending to buy some fruit, but my heart was burning. Why did Dad react like that? Lani had never met him before, why was he so hostile as if we had known each other before?

As soon as I entered the grocery store, I curiously opened my phone to look at the camera in the house. The image that appeared made my heart clench….

Dad smashed the teapots and pushed the chairs over. Mom sat in the corner of the living room, covering her face and crying loudly: “You’re sick but you don’t want to get treatment. At home, you’re sometimes lucid, sometimes confused. This is so hard on the children, who can stand it?”

I went to a secluded place and texted my sister because I was afraid Lani would find out. She said that last time Dad fell, he had a concussion. The doctor said he had signs of early dementia. These past few days, whenever he saw a young girl, he thought of… “her.”

I suddenly understood who “her” was – my biological mother. The woman who betrayed me and my father and left me for another man 25 years ago. I still remember that day clearly, Dad kneeling in the middle of the yard, holding a torn wedding photo, calling Mom’s name in a choked sob. Since then, he has lived a closed life, never mentioning her again. Perhaps that wound had been dormant for decades, but now because of the illness it has resurfaced, as fierce and bewildering as the first day.

I was silent, my heart choked. I felt sorry for my father, and also for Nanay – my second mother who didn’t give birth to me but now had to take care of a man with too many cracks in his heart. Lani put her hand on my shoulder, saying nothing. Perhaps she also understood, this was unexpected.

That day, we just had a quick meal, my father didn’t come out to sit with us. My mother kept secretly giving Lani a piece of meat, coaxing: “Don’t take it to heart, my child, when Tatay is sober, it will be different”.

On the way back to Manila, Lani held my hand: “I don’t blame you. Your father needs treatment and you need time too. When everything is better, let’s talk about getting married”.

I nodded. Suddenly I realized that getting married is not just about two people. It is also about old pains, unhealed memories, and responsibility to loved ones. I need to spend more time with Tatay, with my family—and then one day when the Bulacan sky clears up, we will return together, calmly knock on the door, and hopefully the first words that will come out will be: “Mabuhay, daughter-in-law, come home!