In family life in the Philippines, the relationship between sister-in-law and sister-in-law (hipag) is inherently a “sensitive area”. Even though they do not live together, many people still find themselves in awkward situations just because of conflicts in their words. The story of Lani (31 years old) is a typical example.

Lani got married 3 years ago, living with her parents-in-law (Tatay – Nanay) in a 3-storey house in Quezon City. On the surface, her marriage is quite peaceful: her husband Marco is gentle, Nanay Lourdes is not too strict. However, what makes her tired is not the mother-in-law – daughter-in-law relationship, but her sister-in-law who is 1 year older than her: Ate Kristine.

Even though she is married and lives separately in Pasig, Ate Kristine still comes home often on weekends. Every time she does, the atmosphere in the house is as tense as a bowstring. From the way she talks, her eyes to her attitude, she always exudes a “superior” air. The familiar catchphrase: “Stay home and depend on others”, “if you can’t make money, you have to be content.”

Lani sells online (Facebook Marketplace/Lazada) at home to conveniently take care of her young child; the income is not high but enough to cover some of her personal expenses. However, in Ate Kristine’s eyes, that job is not worth taking seriously. Many times, Lani chose to stay silent to maintain peace, but the constant sarcasm made it difficult for her to avoid being hurt.

The conflict flared up on a special day.
That day… Lani’s maternal home in Bulacan was having a “pamamanhikan” (engagement ceremony) for her cousin. She woke up early, finished cooking and cleaning, then asked permission to go to her maternal home. As soon as she stepped out the door, Ate Kristine suddenly stopped her. Smiling faintly, she hinted:
— “The housework is not yet finished, but you are in a hurry to gossip about your maternal home. If you can’t make money, you should be a little more considerate.”

Lani was stunned. She knew she had taken care of everything, but the sarcasm seemed to never stop. This time, it wasn’t just between the two of them. Bayaw Carlo (Lani’s brother-in-law – Ate Kristine’s husband) came down from upstairs and accidentally heard the whole story.

Carlo looked straight at his wife and frowned:
— “You’re the one who doesn’t know your place. Your sister-in-law is the one who takes care of this house, don’t make things difficult. When it comes to being a daughter-in-law, you should learn from Lani. No matter how many times I come back here, I see my sister-in-law taking care of her parents and doing all the housework. As for you, in the 3 years you’ve been a daughter-in-law, have you ever woken up early to cook breakfast or stayed home to take care of Nanay-Tatay when she was sick?”

The atmosphere in the house suddenly became gloomy. Nanay Lourdes, standing behind, also spoke up:
— “I’m the mother of both of you, but I have to be fair. Your sister-in-law may not make much money, but she’s filial and caring. As for you, you should reconsider how you treat her.”

Carlo and Nanay’s words were like a “straight blow” to Ate Kristine’s pride. Being exposed in front of everyone, she blushed and quietly went back to her room. That day, Lani still went to Bulacan as planned, but in her heart, she felt heavy and relieved.

In the following days, Lani noticed that Ate Kristine’s attitude had changed. There was no more direct sarcasm; instead, there were polite words, keeping a moderate distance. Although the relationship had not become close, at least the atmosphere each time they met was less tense.

Lani’s story not only reflected a familiar scene in many Filipino families, but also conveyed a message: The value of a daughter-in-law cannot be measured by the amount of money she earns each month, but in her dedication, care, and concern for her family. And sometimes, a timely word of protection from a relative not only helps resolve conflicts, but also makes the person involved change their perspective.