Since marrying, I’d gotten used to living frugally at my in-laws’ house. But my mother-in-law’s thrift often crossed the line into stinginess, which has frustrated me many times.
This year, on the day of my father-in-law’s death anniversary, my mother-in-law calmly pulled a 100,000-dong note from her wallet and shoved it into my hand:
“Here, money for the offerings. Go to the market and take care of it. If it’s not enough, put in more yourself. As the eldest daughter-in-law you must make sure things are done properly.”
I was speechless. What could 100,000₫ buy for a whole death-anniversary meal? Relatives and siblings would surely come in large numbers. I looked at her, about to protest, but my mother-in-law’s eyes were sharp — as if it were obvious.
I forced a smile. “Yes, I will take care of it.”
But inside I felt a spark of resolve. “She wants to test me, to force me to add my own money? I won’t let her have her way.”
The next morning I went to the market. Instead of buying meat and fish as in previous years, I picked the cheapest items I could get for 100,000₫: some vegetables, a few blocks of tofu, a little sweet potato, a pack of instant noodles and a bunch of herbs. The vendor even looked surprised:
“Just this much for a death anniversary, ma’am?”
I only smiled. “Yes, this will be enough.”
Back home I started cooking. I fried the tofu until golden, boiled water spinach until it was bright green, stir-fried the noodles with a few sprigs of greens, and made a light sweet potato soup. Four dishes in total — all as humble as possible.
At noon the relatives arrived in full. Everyone expected, as in past years, a proper spread with boiled chicken, braised fish, and Vietnamese cold cuts. My mother-in-law remained calm, comfortably chatting, clearly convinced I would have to add my own money to make the meal complete.
When I carried the tray into the middle of the room and set it down, the room fell utterly silent. On the tray were boiled water spinach, fried tofu, stir-fried noodles with vegetables, and sweet potato soup. No chicken, no fish, no cold cuts.
My sister-in-law and other in-laws gaped: “Uh… is this… the anniversary spread?”
I answered calmly: “Yes. Mother gave me 100,000₫ and I budgeted it to the fullest. This is everything that money could buy.”
All eyes turned to my mother-in-law. Her face went pale and she stammered: “Uh… uh… didn’t you add money? The eldest daughter-in-law should take responsibility…”
I smiled evenly, loud enough for the whole family to hear: “I really wanted to prepare a proper spread for father. But I followed your instruction: you gave me 100,000₫, so I did exactly what that amount would buy. If I had added my own money and someone misunderstood and thought you didn’t provide enough, that would be unfair to you. I would never let you be blamed.”
The house erupted in chatter. Some older relatives laughed, others shook their heads: “Goodness, she only gave 100,000₫ for the offering meal. How could she expect the daughter-in-law to do it? She made her point.”
My mother-in-law’s face flushed with anger, but she didn’t dare argue because the truth was plain.
Then the youngest uncle stood up and said sternly: “Preparing the funeral meal is the family’s duty, not something to dump on the daughter-in-law alone. Everyone should pitch in so we have a decent meal. What you did only invites mockery from the family.”
The atmosphere shifted. Even the critical sisters-in-law had to nod and admit I had handled the situation cleverly.
Finally, to save face, my mother-in-law hastily told my brother-in-law to run to the market to buy chicken and fish for quick cooking. But everyone had already seen her stinginess clearly, and no one blamed me anymore.
That evening she quietly came into my room and said in a low voice: “You… you made me lose face today.”
I looked her straight in the eye and didn’t back down: “I only did exactly as you instructed. If you truly respect father, next time please give a little more than just money — give more sincerity.”
She remained silent.
That day I learned: when someone deliberately imposes and takes advantage, the best response isn’t to lose your temper but to expose their behavior publicly. And that’s what I did.
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