I forgave my husband after his affair, but three years later that very truth came back to punish me cruelly.
It all began on a night of relentless rain. The smell of damp earth and the patter of raindrops blended into a mournful, wordless melody. I sat on the old sofa, holding my daughter who was fast asleep in my arms. Three years earlier, on a night just like that, my world fell apart. My husband — a man I trusted more than myself — admitted he had another woman. The feeling of betrayal wasn’t like a single stab of a knife; it was more like a dull saw that slowly and painfully rasped at my heart bit by bit.
I cried until I had no tears left. My throat closed up, leaving only weak sobs. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice full of counterfeit remorse. “I just had a crush — I still love you and the child.” Those words were like poison: they soothed and murdered my trust at the same time. I thought about divorce. Night after night I lay awake, imagining a life for me and my daughter on our own. Free, but lonely. Then, seeing my child’s angelic face, I couldn’t bear it. I didn’t want her to grow up in a broken home. “She needs a father,” I told myself. “I have to try for her.”
So I chose to forgive him. I tried to forget what had happened and to mend the cracks in our marriage. I told myself that as long as I didn’t dwell on the past and tried to live happily, things would slowly get better. And he did change — for a while. He came home earlier, spent time playing with our child, even helped me cook and wash the dishes. For a month we were like newlyweds again: happy and full of laughter. I believed we could get through anything.
But then everything slipped back to how it had been. “I’m busy with work,” he said. “I have client meetings.” That lie repeated itself. Sudden phone calls, surprise business trips, nights he came home at midnight reeking of alcohol. I was angry and blamed him for being thoughtless, but he responded with indifference and accused me of being unsympathetic to his work. “I work so hard — don’t you understand?” he’d say, voice weary and annoyed. I stayed silent, and the tears fell again.
Many nights I lay beside him with my tears soaking the pillow. He slept soundly, unaware. I looked at him — the man who had once been my everything — and he seemed so distant. He came home like a guest, only to sleep, then leave again. He was indifferent to me and no longer cared about my feelings. He spent less time with our daughter, and I realized his love for us was no longer what it used to be.
I tried to be a gentle wife and a capable mother just to keep up the appearance of a happy family. Each visit to our parents, I forced a smile and pretended everything was fine. “We’re very happy, Mom and Dad,” I’d say, while inside I was filled with salty tears. I didn’t want them to worry or be sad for me. But the pain couldn’t be hidden forever. My daughter’s innocent questions cut into my heart like knives.
“Mom, why are you so sad?” she asked, her round eyes full of concern. “I’m not sad, I’m happy,” I lied, my voice breaking from the lump in my throat. “Then why doesn’t Dad have dinner with us? Doesn’t he love us anymore?” Those words pierced straight through me. I hugged her and tried to stifle my sobs. I realized my endurance hadn’t made him change. On the contrary, it made him more indifferent and contemptuous. The more I yielded, the farther he drifted. The more I stayed silent, the more indifferent he became.
The breaking point came one afternoon when I accidentally read the messages on his phone.
They were love notes, sweet rendezvous plans from him to another woman. My world crumbled again. I collapsed to the floor, utterly shattered. Tears fell like rain, bringing disappointment, regret, and anger. “Why did you treat me like this?” I screamed. “What did I do wrong?” He looked at me, eyes tired. “Don’t you understand? I told you — I only had a crush,” he said, his voice indifferent.
His indifference made me realize I couldn’t keep enduring. I was exhausted. I admit a part of me had kept enduring out of fear — fear of gossip, fear of society’s gaze, fear of being alone. But that fear cost me my happiness and my daughter’s carefree childhood. I looked at myself: a woman who had become a shadow. “No,” I told myself. “I can’t go on like this.”
I decided to face the truth. I asked him to meet at our usual coffee shop. When he arrived, I looked at the man who had once been my everything and now felt so strange. “Do you have something you want to tell me?” he asked, casually. I took a deep breath and swallowed all the pain I’d been holding in. “Let’s get a divorce,” I said, voice trembling but resolute. He was stunned, his eyes widening, then narrowing in confusion. “What? Why on earth would you want a divorce?” he asked, bewildered. “I gave you a chance and you didn’t appreciate it. I tried to endure, but you grew more indifferent. I can’t keep living in a marriage that’s just for show. Our daughter deserves real happiness, not a family with only a facade,” I answered, my voice full of disappointment.
After that night we started the divorce process. He tried to cling to me, promising to change. “I was wrong, I promise I’ll make it up to you and our child,” he said. “Can you trust me one more time?” His voice trembled with regret. But I no longer believed him. “I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’ve lost my trust. You can say you’ll change, but my heart is too tired. I won’t let our daughter grow up in a home without true respect and love,” I said, then turned and walked away without looking back.
After the divorce, my daughter and I opened a new chapter. I moved to a smaller apartment near the park she loved. Life at first was not easy. Some nights I held her and cried from loneliness and memories of the past. But then I looked at her smile, and I knew I had to be strong. I dedicated all my time to her: painting, reading, and strolling through the park. Every day I felt real happiness — a peaceful life without fights or sleepless nights. I no longer had to fake a smile; my smile was genuine, coming from the heart.
Four years later, I received a message from him. He asked to take me and our daughter out to eat. I hesitated, then agreed — our daughter was older, and I thought we should face each other. When we met, he had changed a lot. He was no longer cold and indifferent. His eyes were full of remorse and sincerity. “I’m sorry for everything that happened,” he said. “I realized I was wrong. I didn’t appreciate you or the family. I lost the most precious things in my life.” I looked at him and smiled. “It’s okay. I forgave you a long time ago. I only hope we can be friends and raise our daughter together.”
He spent more time with our daughter, and she was very happy. I saw her smile and knew that was happiness. I no longer resented him; instead I felt peace. One day, while I was drinking coffee, a stranger came over to talk to me. He was an architect who had been watching me from afar. He told me my smile was beautiful. I was shy but opened up to the conversation. He was warm, sincere, and trustworthy. We began dating, and I realized I had found my other half.
On our wedding day I wore a pure white dress, my happiness almost choking me. I once thought I would never find happiness again. But life taught me that after the rain, a rainbow appears. I had overcome the pain, stood back up after falling, and found my own happiness. My daughter, now eight, beamed when she saw her mother happy. I knew my decision back then had been the right one. I gave my child a childhood without pretense, and I gave myself the chance to live a full life.
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