She Hates My Mother, Is Cold and Distant Toward Me — I Don’t Understand Why My Wife Completely Changed After Giving Birth

Every time I see a happy family out in public, I just want to cry. Every night, I toss and turn, missing my wife and child. Why did everything change so quickly?

My wife and I were together for 5 years before marriage, and we’ve been married for 3 years — a total of nearly 8 years together. We now have a daughter who’s almost 2 years old.

Before we got married, we lived together for 2 years. Life before and after marriage was peaceful and happy. We went out to eat, traveled, and enjoyed each other’s company. Occasionally we argued, but I was always the one to make up first. Back then, life felt calm and truly worth cherishing.

Everything started to change — and my wife began to change — after the birth of our daughter. The arguments became more frequent, to the point where they were hard to control. We disagreed on how to raise the baby, how long to stay at my wife’s family’s house versus mine during the baby’s first 6 months, finances, friends… there was always something to argue about.

I don’t understand why my wife became a completely different person — so different from how she was before getting pregnant and before becoming a mother.

Every time I see other families smiling together, I feel this deep sadness. I lie awake at night, missing my wife and child. Why did our world fall apart so fast?

When our baby turned 6 months old, we both returned to work in Hanoi, and my mother came with us to help take care of the baby. From then on, new conflicts arose between my mother and my wife.

My mother used a traditional style of caregiving, constantly worrying the baby might be hungry and often coaxing and spoiling her. Meanwhile, my wife preferred modern parenting methods and would always correct or directly criticize my mom whenever something wasn’t done her way.

Over time, my wife started disliking my mother — even hating her, to the point that they felt like two strangers living under one roof.

As a first-time dad, I wasn’t good at taking care of our child. I didn’t take the initiative to bring her out or play with her. (It’s not that I did nothing — but I only acted when my wife reminded me. I wasn’t proactive.) Looking back now, I realize how bad I truly was back then.

In the end, my wife chose to take our child and return to her parents’ home. As for me, I sent my mother back to the countryside. Now, the only thing I can do is call them and visit our daughter on weekends in Ha Nam — because that’s where my wife is staying, while I’m in Bac Giang.

Honestly, I still love my wife and my daughter deeply. But my wife told me she no longer has feelings for me.

I’m trying everything I can to fix our family, so our daughter can grow up with a complete home. But the more I try, the more distant and cold my wife becomes. I really don’t know what else to do.

Now, alone in Hanoi, every time I see a happy family on the street, I just want to cry. Every night, I lie awake missing my wife and daughter. Why did everything change so fast? Or was it that I simply failed to adapt to the changes — and ended up losing the very thing called “Family”?

Right now, I honestly don’t know…
Should I keep trying to hold on —
or should I let go, just as my wife wants?