Valerie Concepcion opens up about feeling she was ‘not enough’ for her daughter

“Teenager pa lang ako, ang dami ko nang pinagdaanan,” recalled actress Valerie Concepcion in her interview with Boy Abunda last May 19, 2023. “I had to mature right away na hindi ko na-enjoy pagiging teenager ko. I mean, I was able to but I didn’t fully enjoy pagiging teenager ko.”

Valerie was only 16 years old when she got pregnant with her daughter, Heather Fiona. At that time, she was just starting out in showbiz, and was suddenly thrust into a role that demanded she grow up way ahead of her years. Yet, she accepted the role and did everything for her “greatest blessing and most precious treasure”.

She admitted that it wasn’t easy having to raise a child especially when she was so young herself. Added to that was the fact that she had to do it be herself, without help from Jeremy Carag, her child’s biological father.

“I’ve sacrificed so much for her. I had to make sure na hindi ko na-prioritize ang pagiging teenager ko,” said Valerie. “Tina-try ko so hard to a mom and dad to her.”

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At one point, Heather started looking for her dad. Valerie admitted that it was a painful moment for her as she questioned herself as a parent.

“It pained me noong hinanap niya kasi feeling ko nun, hindi ako enough,” she shared. “Kumbaga, hindi ko naibigay yung lahat. Hinanap pa niya yung tatay niya.”

Once she took a moment to see it from her daughter’s perspective, she realized that it didn’t mean she was a bad mother; her daughter simply wanted to know more.

“Na-realize ko rin na it doesn’t make her love me less because she looked for her father. She just really wants to know where she came from, her roots, and her full story,” she explained. “Now I understand.”

Valerie even tried to reach out to Heather’s biological dad in the hopes that he could reconnect with Heather.

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“We tried. We tried,” she said. “I tried telling him, ‘Our daughter is ready to meet you. She told me she’s ready to meet you.’”

Unfortunately, she didn’t get any response. Nevertheless, she would often remind Heather not to bear grudges.

“I always tell her, ‘Don’t be mad at your dad,’” said Valerie. “’No matter what happens, bali-baliktarin mo man ang mundo, tatay mo yan. You have to respect him.”

Of course, she could also understand how Heather could feel hurt with the lack of response.

“Pero kasi, hindi mo masisisi na hindi mawawala sa bata na nasaktan siya sa mga nangyari at na-disappoint siya,” explained Valerie.

Valerie admitted that she always wished that she was able to provide Heather with a different family set up.

“Siguro ang isu-sorry ko is yung hindi ko nabigay sa kanya yung normal na family dapat,” she shared.

Heather is now 18 years old and is taking up Nursing at the Far Eastern University in Manila. She lives independently in a condo near her school.

When Heather turned 18, Valerie penned a heartwarming message for her eldest.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve such a kind, sweet and loving daughter,” Valerie began. “You have a beautiful soul and I wish people can see you for the beautiful person that you are. I hope you know how much I love you and how proud I am of you.”

“I am so grateful because I’m lucky and blessed to have you as my daughter and to be your mom,” she added. “ILYSM!”

As a single mom, Valerie hoped to someday find a husband who would also be a father to her child.

“I really wanted to get married. I think I’m so in love with the idea of being in love, and having a kid at a very young age, of course you want someone to be there for your child,” Valerie shared, revealing that she had been wanting to get married since she was 23 years old.

“Being a single mom, I want someone for my daughter,” she said. “I want my daughter to have a father figure. I wanted someone to be a father to her kasi wala yung tatay niya.”

She eventually found her life partner in now-husband Francis Sunga, whom she married in 2019. She recently shared the good news that she is now pregnant and expecting an addition to their family soon.

Looking back, she had this to say to her younger self: “Girl, you’ve got this. Kahit ano pa ang pagdaanan mo, as long as you have your family, you’ve got this.”

While it hasn’t been a smooth road, Valerie is still filled with gratitude.

“To be where I am right now — I’m so happy with my life,” she said emotionally. “I feel so contented. I feel so grateful.”