Reminding My Ex-Husband About Child Support, His New Wife Replied: “You gave birth, so you raise the child yourself… why do you keep begging like a hungry leech?”
I know that if I take this to court, I would be completely justified since there’s already a clear ruling, but doing so would only escalate the conflict.
After the divorce, my daughter lived with me. On the day of the hearing, my ex-husband agreed to provide 10 million VND per month for child support. I never saw it as a favor—rather, it was his responsibility. As my daughter grew, expenses for her schooling, food, and clothes became more costly. Ten million a month was just enough to get by. I work in an office with a modest salary, so every month I have to carefully calculate every penny.
Since he remarried, receiving child support has become more difficult. At first, he still transferred the money regularly, but gradually he started delaying—sometimes I’d have to wait half a month. When I reminded him, his replies were curt; he would make excuses about being busy and tell me to be understanding. I swallowed my anger, thinking as long as I got the money for our child, it was fine.
But I never expected his new wife to interfere. One time, when I texted to ask for the money, instead of him replying, she grabbed the phone. She wrote: “Stop bothering us, my family has plenty to worry about. You gave birth, so you raise your child yourself. Why do you keep holding out your hand every month for 10 million like some starving leech?” Reading that, I trembled with rage. This was child support mandated by the court—his responsibility as a father. How dare she speak that way?
From then on, whenever I reminded him about the payment, she would always jump in with nasty messages: accusing me of “squeezing money out,” “using the child to get cash,” and even once telling me to sue if I didn’t like it. I felt wronged and humiliated. I raise our child on my own, never letting her go without, never demanding anything beyond that agreed amount. Yet here I am, being insulted and treated like a beggar.
Once, she even said from the following month, they would only send 5 million—and if I didn’t accept, I’d have to manage on my own. I wanted to call my ex-husband to settle things, but he avoided me, always saying: “Don’t make a scene, it’ll affect my family.” His family is important, but what about his daughter?
My daughter is 10 now, old enough to notice things. Once, she saw me upset after reading a message and asked: “Mom, does Dad not want to send money for me anymore?” My throat tightened—I didn’t know how to answer. I’m afraid she’ll feel hurt, that she’ll start to see herself as a burden.
I know that if I go back to court, I’ll win since the judgment is clear, but it would make the conflict harsher, and my daughter would feel the weight of her parents’ battle. I just want a peaceful life for her, but even that small wish seems hard to keep.
I’ve thought about giving up the support entirely, but then my daughter might have to transfer to a less expensive school in the countryside. Her future wouldn’t be the same—she wouldn’t be able to continue in a good school or attend extracurricular centers that nurture her talents. That would be such an unfair loss for her.
But if things continue like this, I feel bitter and frustrated. I don’t know whether to endure it for the sake of my child’s opportunities, or to give it up just for some peace.
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