Shock and Tears: Judy Ann Tells Yohan Why Her Biological Parents Gave Her Up

Yohan Agoncillo says he’s asking about his biological parents; Judy Ann Santos says she’s ready to find them for her daughter

“So, Yohan, at some point, he always asks, ‘Do you know my mom?’ ‘What if I want to see her?’  I always tell her, ‘You just let me know when you want.   If at some point, someday, you want to meet your biological parents, it’s fine. We’ll find a way.’” However, Juday admitted that their conversation wasn’t easy for her. “Of course, when I say that, it feels like I’m choking. It feels like my heart is being squeezed. But that’s her right.”

Judy Ann Santos, known as the Young Superstar, became a full-fledged mother in 2004 with her first child, Yohan (full name: Johanna Louis Santos-Agoncillo). Juday was only twenty-six at the time and not yet married to her husband, Ryan Agoncillo.

That year, Juday adopted Yohan.

It was an open book to everyone, except for Yohan who, of course, was still a baby. Today, at 16, Yohan is one fine and well-adjusted young lady.

Perhaps it was also because of Juday’s beautiful way of letting Yohan know that he was adopted.

“I think, there is no easy way when you actually reveal to your child the real situation,” Judy Ann said in her IG [Instagram] Live interview with ABS-CBN writer G3 San Diego last night, May 24.

“But, as soon as I got Yohan, it was already a prayer, ‘Lord, just give me a window when I can tell him.’

“Because I don’t want to keep this from her for such a long time, because she doesn’t deserve to be lied to or magtago ako ng secret sa kanya because she needs to know.

“She needs to know that the word ‘adopted’ or ‘adoption’ is not bad. Remove that stigma. Because, ‘that word is [actually equivalent to] ‘Because I want you to be part of my life.’”

Juday added that she had prayed for a long time to be given a daughter when she turned 26. Her prayer was so specific. And she said that this is what she told Yohan later on.

“[I told her] ‘I prayed for you’… because, it’s all true. What you’re saying is difficult but it’s not true,” the actress said.

“It was easy for me to explain but of course, it didn’t happen in one go. It was a process every time she would ask questions.”

He said his son was only four or five years old when he first asked him.

He looks back: “She asked me the question when she was around four or five years old if she came from my tummy. Because she saw my mommy [Carol]…she called mommy mom. She saw mommy with stitches [in her stomach], the one from mommy’s CS [caesarean surgery].

“He asked [Mommy Carol] if she came from there. She said, ‘No.’

“‘Did mommy [Juday] come from there?

“‘Yes.’

“‘So, where did I come from?’

“’ You ask your mom.’

“Okay, that’s it.”

But even before the child could ask questions, he simply introduced the concept to them by having them read kiddie books with adoption stories.

But when the question did come, ganito raw niya in-explain: “So I told her, ‘You came from mommy’s heart,’ more than anything. ‘You came from my heart because I prayed for you for so many years.  My exact prayer was I wanted to have a daughter when I turn 26.  And, I got a call after I turned 26, few days after my birthday, I got a call… so lo and behold, I have my baby girl.”

Malinaw na ‘answered prayer’ nga raw ang pag dating ni Yohan sa buhay niya.  Nasa taping pa raw siya ng pinagbidahang serye na “Krystala” noon at nagkataon na ang location pa nila noon ay sa Baby Section ng isang department store.

“So, para talaga siyang pinagtugma ng Diyos. Na sa araw na ito, magiging nanay ka at bibigyan kita ng chance na ma-experience mong bilhin ang gamit ng anak mo.

“Pag-uwi ko, may bitbit akong mga gamit. Pag kita ko sa kanya, sabi ko, ‘Parang ako ito.’  So, every time I explained that to her, even now… s’yempre, it was a process of answering her question. Telling her the real situation.  And of course, at one point, ayaw mo rin namang i-alok ’yung right nila na magtanong kung sino sila.”

Nang mahingan naman ng payo si Juday para sa mga kagaya niyang adoptive parents o kaya naman ay may balak mag-ampon in the future, sinabi niyang wag masyadong patagalin ang pagsasabi sa mga bata ng tunay na sitwasyon.

“Wag n’yong patagalin,” sabi niya. “Kasi, all the more that it would hurt them. Ako kasi, ang takot ko kasi, malaman niya sa ibang tao. And I cannot protect her from that. E, napaka-protective ko sa kanya.

“I don’t want na malaman niya sa ibang tao. It should come from me. Dapat sa akin. Kasi, ako ‘yung nanay. Ako ‘yung nakaka-alam. Kasi, baka ‘yung ibang tao, iba ‘yung pagkakasabi sa kanya, magiging iba ‘yung dating.

“Ayokong magkaroon siya ng hinanakit sa parents niya because it’s unfair.  But you know, it’s the relationship that you will be building with your child. It’s the trust and love and the commitment that it was an answered prayer.”

Ayon pa kay Juday, “Ako, naniniwala ako na ang bawat taong dumarating sa buhay natin ay may purpose.  Mapa-kaibigan, mapa-katrabaho, mapa-asawa, lahat ‘yan, may purpose.

“Hindi ‘yan ibibigay ng Diyos sa atin kung hindi natin kayang panindigan ang mga tao sa buhay natin.”

Ani pa Juday, hindi pa rin tapos ang Q&A process nila ni Yohan dahil of late, ang tinatanong naman daw nito ay tungkol sa kanyang biological parents.

“So, Yohan, at some point, palagi siyang nagtatanong, ‘Do you know my mom?’  ‘What if I want to see her?’  I always tell her, ‘You just let me know when you want.

If at some point, someday, you want to meet your biological parents, it’s fine. We’ll find a way.’”

However, inamin ni Juday na hindi madali para sa kanya ang naging conversation nilang iyon.

“Siyempre, habang sinasabi ko ‘yun, para ‘kong sinasakal. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko. But that’s her right.”

Dagdag pa niya, pinaalalahanan daw niya si Yohan ngayon palang na wag magtanim ng galit sa kanyang biological parents.

“Even me, when I’m in that situation, there are still many questions like why is this, why is that?

“ So, I’d always, tell her: ‘Wag kang magtanim ng sama ng loob sa parents mo. Probably, they just had to make this decision because they wanted to give you a better future. Probably, they don’t have the capacity or the means to take care of you but it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They love you so much that they don’t want to give you a hard time.’”

He further advised adoptive parents who are preparing to tell the truth to their adopted kids that after the big reveal, they should hug the child tightly.

Currently, another thing Juday is facing about Yohan is his puberty. At 16, she says she is sure that her pretty eldest already has a lover.

“I’m sure there’s someone who’s interested in that,” she said dismissively. “We all come from there. We’re very open to Yohan when it comes to personal things. She talks to her dad. She’s open about when she has issues or a crush, she tells me.

“Then, I just advise him, especially now that the world of social media is so vast. ‘You can’t tell who is really true to you. But it’s okay to make friends with a lot of people. You just have to know who and when to trust and you have to put up a fence around yourself first. But you’ll learn, you’ll learn.’”

But his laughable change: “It’s a good thing I think about it, the one who quarantined is okay. He’s just here at home. I’m so selfish, aren’t I?”

“I’m sure, I’m not the only one, I’m sure, you’re also happy that your children are in quarantine, right?,” he concluded with a chuckle.

Besides Yohan, Juday and Ryan have two other children, Juan Luis (Lucho), 10; and Juana Luisa (Luna), 5.